Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Call me BookWench.

Welcome to the Book Wench! This initial post is mainly an introduction, which I know is rather bold of me since most of the people reading this are either related to me or very close friends. However, if this blog does become modestly successful, or you're being forced to read it by one of the aforementioned relatives/ close friends, you deserve a basic rundown of myself and my credentials as a book blogger.

So, I'm Amber. I've always been an avid reader. As anyone who has helped me move can attest to, I may, in fact, be too avid a reader/collector, as I would rather get rid of couches, chairs, desks, clothes or pets than books. Good luck finding a place to sit, but you'll never want for reading material. I even have a line from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing tattooed on my ankle. That's some serious lit-nerd cred right there. I worked at a large chain bookstore to earn money while attending New York University, getting a degree in acting. My acting degree led me to many, many more years working in various bookstores in New York, Los Angeles, and Texas. It also gave me the skill set required to act like I don't want to maim people or cry when I am asked particularly stupid questions. So I can honestly say I use my degree every minute of every working day, because there is a LOT of stupid and crazy running wild in this country.

Anyway – after regaling all of my family and friends with stories both humorous and horrifying from the trenches of book world they encouraged me to vent my spleen to a wider audience. I don't know if this is because they think I'm that funny or if they're just sick and tired of listening to me. So, it was either this, or tea parties with my small village of imaginary friends and a battered stuffed Piglet doll. After...let's just say too many years in book world I have amassed some interesting stories and a hopefully humorous take on retail/ books/ humanity at large.

I will warn you that my sense of humor tends to be...blunt. Or as the people who love me best would say, bitchy. I will freely admit to being very sarcastic, and a little judge-y. And some of the stuff I post here will definitely not be family-friendly. It's a brutal world out there in Bookland, and I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

Basically the blog postings will fall into a few categories:
      • Funny Bookstore Happenings – the odd characters (both customer and co-workers) and their activities that make BookWorld so amusing and infuriating.
      • Quotes of the Week – a collection of the dumbest/ funniest/ WTF-iest questions and statements you only get to hear while working at a bookstore. I promise that all of these will be actual things either I or my co-workers have heard, even though you will hope 90% are things we made up.
      • Retail Rules – Things that we on the other side of the counter wish the average public knew to make all our lives more pleasant. Some will be book specific, others can (and should) be applied anywhere. These may also include some basic common sense stuff that can be applied to all aspects of life, like why there should be an age limit on certain articles of clothing.
      • Book/ Author Reviews – To prove that I'm not just a ranting book clerk and to take a look at why I still love reading after working in the Book Mines, I'll include post about what I'm reading, all-time favorite books, and authors I feel should be sainted or at least read by everyone. I may also take a trip to the dark side and tell you about authors/books I do not have such happy, fluffy feelings for.
      • If I Ran the Bookstore – Tales from the imaginary bookstore I own.

So that's the idea behind the blog. Anyone who loves books, has slaved away in book retail (or any retail), or is exceptionally bored at work should find something to amuse them here. Now I'll leave you with some previews of things to come:

“Why Sir Arthur Conan Doyle may, in fact, be the greatest writer ever. And, no, I'm not a huge fan.”
“The 5 questions that will get you fed to the attack ponies in my imaginary bookstore.”
“Crimes Against Literature” (This will be a multi-part series)

And from Quotes of the Week:

“Can you tell me who wrote Dante's Inferno?”  


  1. I wrote dantes inferno
    although the plot was based on chips

  2. Welcome to the world of venting your spleen online! My spleen has never been so vented.

  3. My doctor from the middle ages agrees. I've really been able to cut down on my leech usage.